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McDonald’s as a Human– by Blake Matthys   Leave a comment

With the elections of 2012 approaching even closer super PACs have increased their roles in the election process by campaigning for candidates with commercials and other progandist methods.  Yet, what runs a super PAC?  I mean besides the people running PACs, who is actually running the PAC show?  The answer is corporations.  We all know corporations make all the dough in this country, just ask liberals.  All corporations want to do is use the money they make towards democracy and freedom.  That’s why corporations made PACs and petitioned the Supreme Court so they could participate in democracy.  And the Supreme Court answered with freedom by allowing corporations to form PACs and give limitless amounts of money to political candidates. Allyn K. Milojevich agrees with the court saying that PACs are just “groups excising their First Amendment right for free speech” (Milojevich).  Opponents of corporations claim that if corporations can have free speech they can also have a fair and speedy trial.  Unfortunately some people are arguing that having the right to free speech is not an exclusive right.  These same people argue that if a corporation were to be held to human standards, it would be tried for crimes against customers like murder or manslaughter.

This is ridiculous, the only rights corporations have are the rights to free speech, making money, and loving America.  But we need to analyze this claim of PAC opponents.  So I have decided to transform McDonalds into a human being up for trial.  I mean McDonalds is the golden arch, I mean golden boy of all corporations.  There is no way McDonalds would ever be convicted of any wrongdoing against humanity.  Most people want to charge McDonalds with manslaughter.  This is acceptable because eating a Big Mac might as well be manslaughter for most of the country.  The settings for these charges are the cities of Houston and Austin Texas.  McDonalds’ manslaughter trademark is a death caused by cardiac arrest. The Sudden Cardiac Arrest foundation reports that during the year of 2009 there were respectively 180 and 59 reported cardiac arrests in these two cities.  Now to be fair, I am going to say that McDonalds only caused 25 percent of these deaths.  I mean McDonalds is competing with Whataburger, Carl Jr’s, Wendy’s, Taco Bell and local restaurants to kill these people.  Also, McDonalds is not competing with Burger King; because no one eats Burger King.  Yet back to the trial, in 2009 McDonalds killed 45 people in Houston and 15 people in Austin.  McDonalds is charged with 60 counts of manslaughter in central Texas.  This translates to prison sentences between 2 to 20 years per manslaughter charge.  Also, McDonalds could be fined for up to 10,000 dollars for each manslaughter account.  So leads the verdict of half of the maximum sentence, or to be more specific, 9 years of prison time and $ 5,000 for each count of manslaughter.  So for the year of 2009 in the cities of Austin and Houston Texas McDonalds would be serving 540 years (if the sentences are concurring) in prison and would have to pay 300,000 dollars.  These totals are only for two cities in Texas when McDonalds website boasts the fact that it can serve 47 million people a day.  But to only have a kill rate that is less than one percent McDonalds is doing a great job.  Also, with the profits that McDonalds can garner from serving 47 million people in a day, it can afford to foot the bill and the prison time.  So there should not be any worries that McDonalds would be able to weather these prison charges.  But is being human worth it when McDonalds could escape all these charges by just being a corporation without rights?

I decided to approach my satire with a Stephen Colbert train of thought.  In other words, I wanted to parody conservative thinking but expand this type of thinking into a sense of lunacy that even conservatives would have trouble agreeing with.  Thus my approach about McDonalds having a right to free speech but free speech exclusively; I find it hard for people to argue that a person does not one right exclusively in this country.  But overall I wanted to critique the belief that corporations are given rights just as people are.  If corporations can participate so thoroughly in democracy as people, they must be held to all other conditions of being people.  I have not found a lot of people taking this issue as thoroughly as I did, most people are arguing campaign finance when it comes to PACs.  But I find it hard to accept Walmart as a person because of the absolute disrespect it gives to the elderly.  Instead of PACs being just about campaign finance we need to analyze the fact that corporations are beginning to be accepted as people and the future that this holds for our country.


Posted December 2, 2011 by blakematthys in Uncategorized

The Daily Show on October 6th   Leave a comment

The Daily Show on October 6th examines the news that Sarah Palin is not running for president in 2012.  The daily show examines that she has been “a crazy person” for driving around in her bus this whole time.  The Daily Show then shows clips of Sarah Palin’s bus tour showing up at political rallies of other GOP candidates to claim that Sarah Palin was effectively trying to steal the show.  The Daily Show also is in possession of a letter from Sarah PAC that says that the recipients should give money to the PAC just in case Sarah Palin decides to run for President.   The Daily Show then shows that Sarah PAC is Sarah Palin’s own money bag in which she has already distributed money for her own purposes.  Examples of used money are for her bus graphics, lodging around the country, and money given to her parents for card mailing.   What the Daily Show then claims is that this PAC scheme would be shady if Sarah Palin knew she wasn’t going to run for President but still “dangled” her choice out there for the Presidency until the very end.  The Daily Show then shows a clip of Bristol Palin saying her mom knew what her choice for running for the Presidency was as early as June 28th.   After this video the Daily Shows cuts to a scene of John Stewart just sitting on his desk with a knowing look into the camera in which he follows this look with a tone of disgust for Palin’s lack of candidacy.   The Daily Show then moves from Sarah Palin to Herman Cain and his attempt to be interviewed as much as possible.  Herman Cain’s main blunder for the Daily Show’s purposes is when he says “I don’t have the facts to back this up”.  John Stewart than analyzes the rhetoric behind his statement by saying “you still expect the media to demand that you back your claims with facts”?  This comment allows John Stewart to move away from Herman Cain, who as shown has already done damage to himself, and lets Stewart than claim that the media does not care about facts anymore but rather just reports the claims of the candidates alone.  Stewart then moves on to say that the media “doesn’t give a shit”.   Stewart then goes back to the topic of Herman Cain with one clip that says that no one should be scapegoated if a person fails it’s that persons own fault if they do not succeed.  After this quote the Daily Show moves to another quote in which Herman Cain is blaming “the liberals that have taken over the government”.   In which John Stewart responds “but you just said don’t blame anyone”.  The Daily Show easily analyzes the rhetoric used by both Palin and Cain to allow show the political icons to shoot themselves in the foot.  John Stewart does this well by saying some outlandish quote with the subtitles #IDontHaveFactsToBackThisUP.

I believe Jones’ claims about the Daily Show analyzing news more than most news outlets is true.   Most news outlets are just reporting the claims propogated by Political icons while the Daily Show has continued to analyze the rhetoric that is followed by these icon’s claims.  Some people believe that this is not fair due to the fact that the Daily Show uses clips that are taken out of context from the candidates.  Yet I counter that the multitude of clips shown by the Daily Show allow the viewer to receive a sense of context of the situation.   Overall even though the Daily Show is attempting to make fun of “real news” the show still delivers good reporting of news through analyzing rhetoric even for comedic purposes.

Posted October 16, 2011 by blakematthys in Uncategorized

Onion Fun   Leave a comment

Hey all here is a fun post about the up coming presidential election.  If you can’t follow the link feel free to email me.,21113/

Posted September 9, 2011 by blakematthys in Uncategorized

The Super PAC. dun dun dunnnn   Leave a comment

As I have done research for my RS 1 I came across and article that was outright frightful.  Mitt Romney’s super PAC, Restore Our Future has received 5 checks worth a million dollars.

That’s right.  Mitt Romney’s campaign has won Who Wants to be a Millionaire 5 times already.  And his campaign hasn’t even been deemed a player by Fox News.  Obama’s reelection campaign has been given 2 million dollars by a Hollywood Executive.  To put these revelations into layman’s terms campaigns were only allowed to receive $2,500 from one private source before Citizen’s United.  Now it seems the the math has shifted in the favor of candidates and big businesses.

Yet this is my controversy.  Should Super Pacs be allowed to give unlimited monetary campaign contributions  to political candidates?

Stephen Colbert and other sources believe these PACs are legalized bribery.  Others believe that campaign finance is being organized by PACs.  Either way, our generation needs to take a look at what PACs actually do because we are all stakeholders in the next presidential elections.

For campaign finance fun click here.  O and a disclaimer this story was release BEFORE Citizen’s United.

<div style=”background-color:#000000;width:520px;”><div style=”padding:4px;”><p style=”text-align:left;background-color:#FFFFFF;padding:4px;margin-top:4px;margin-bottom:0px;font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:12px;”><b><a href=””>The Daily Show – Obama is Rich</a></b><br/>Get More: <a href=’’>Daily Show Full Episodes</a>,<a href=’’>Political Humor & Satire Blog</a>,<a href=’’>The Daily Show on Facebook</a></p></div></div>

Posted September 7, 2011 by blakematthys in Uncategorized

Thank You For Smoking   1 comment

This is a clip from “Thank You For Smoking” about the rhetoric of winning.  If you haven’t seen this movie SEE IT.  It’s absolutely brilliant and will make you laugh at all of the terrible things.  If this isn’t rhetoric at its’ finest we are all doomed.

Please just follow the link.

Posted September 2, 2011 by blakematthys in Uncategorized

Favorite Comic Texts   Leave a comment

In comic texts I have only read the onion but I have found that the papers’ humor is too dry for me.  Yet I love the Daily Show and the Colbert Report.  I could honestly say that I am a Daily Show fanatic and attempt to watch John Stewart poke rhetorical fun at everyone at least once a day.  Other satirical programs I watch include South Park, Family Guy, and American Dad.  I enjoy the different point of views between Family Guy and American Dad.  Family Guy’s liberal stake in most issues and American Dad’s fake conservative stake really provide for satirical humor.  I can honestly say though that Rhetoric of Satire was my first rhetoric choice for my undergraduate writing credit and I believe satire is being used more and more to expand awareness of critical situations on the national political scale.

Posted August 29, 2011 by blakematthys in Uncategorized