Author Archive

For America, on Net Neutrality   Leave a comment

Hey! America! Over here! I SAID HEY!

Look, I’m an American. I’m a conservative. I believe that the government that governs best is that which governs least. So you can imagine my outrage when I found out we still had a government. Not only that, but that this government, made up of a random assortment of people from God knows where, was trying to lay its dirty government hands on a key element of daily life in this country: the Internets. With a bill called Network Neutrality, the fat cats up in Washington are trying, once again, to instill regulations on us. Worst of all? They’re not the Republican fat cats. It’s the liberals seeking policy implementation once again. The bill is aimed at preventing Internet Service Providers (ISPs) from filtering websites accessed on the base of content that it doesn’t agree with. Not only that, but also keeps ISPs from charging more to users who make use of data-heavy websites like Netflix or Hulu. These regulations are as detrimental to the American people as feces are to a front yard; they will only do us a disservice and further government control over our private lives. In other words, the left wants to come in and keep things “fair”.

Well, much like an actual fair, the bill’s introduction was met with screaming by the fine, upstanding members of the conservative media. Listening to Rush the other day, I managed to hear a great point: this is just part of the huge Democrat government takeover. The liberals are simply taking the nation under their control when we let our guard down. Like I just said, these people from God knows where are coming in and infiltrating government by changing the way things are run in this country. Things have been running perfectly for the past 250 years, why do we need to change anything?! With Net Neutrality, these people are making up a problem that doesn’t exist. I get on the Interwebs every day, and not once have I been prevented from going to my most frequented sites: Yahoo, Facebook, Pornhub. Which reminds me, I gotta erase my browser history before the kids come home. I can’t afford them getting Facebook accounts so young. My sites are there, so what are the libs complaining about? You know what? I know. Knowing them, they’re probably crafting a super liberal website full of superliberal propaganda that Net Neutrality regulations will protect from the just control of ISPs. It only makes sense. It’s a big conspiracy. Rush knows. He mentioned in his show that the White House is in bed with Google. And worst of all? They’re not married. I guess Obama must have been browsing the Internets looking for advice on how to be a good president and pressed the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button on Google’s home page one too many times. You’ve been caught sir, and if I was you I would abort the bastard lovechild that is Network Neutrality, you sick man!

We’ve got to be vigilant, America. The down side to having our glorious freedom of expression is that not everyone is right like we are. We’ve got to uphold our self-evident American values and constantly fight against that which we don’t agree with. It’s the American way. The left wants freedom and that sounds nice, until you figure out that their freedom is not freedom in the right way. What is the right way? Well, for starters, freedom that is not tarnished by government intervention. I can’t think of one instance where a decision to enforce freedom through government action has been a benefit to the community. Plus, is no one thinking of the corporations here? The poor, huge ISPs, the likes of Verizon and Time Warner Cable, can’t handle all that data usage! They’ll have to expand their networks and upgrade their services, and that costs money. Do you think those yachts pay for themselves, libs? Because they kinda do. It’s an added feature. Let’s be kind and save ISPs the trouble, save ourselves some embarrassment, and spend more for using more data while we let the private providers regulate what we can and can’t see. Free market! What could possibly go wrong?! Let’s ignore the liberals once again, because if we do nothing about Net Neutrality then it’s only logical that nothing will happen.


Posted December 2, 2011 by Jorge Corona in Uncategorized

LOOK WHO WAS HERE   Leave a comment


Posted November 21, 2011 by Jorge Corona in Uncategorized

Was I supposed to post on the blog? Oh… Well crap.   Leave a comment

Hello everyone, Jorge here.

I have no idea where my typist Graham went. I guess he conveniently slipped out when a blog post was due. Can’t trust any old typist these days.

Uh… so what do we do here. I don’t know but- whoah. What. What’s happening to the text? Did I press something? Dammit.Okay so bear with me here. Let me rummage through Graham’s desk and see if he found any satires. Oh okay, the Cloberts Reports. This seems to be okay. Okay, he’s… talking… And talking… Wait, is this just a news show? It’s really serious. Why are people laughing? No one laughs at Rush, why do they laugh at Cloberts?

Okay, so- cool, text changed back- he’s talking about occupy Wall Street and informing us of how the media is covering the Oakland incident where an Iraq veteran was hurt by negligent police brutality. He goes on to show the coverage of the story of the Washington Post, part of Newscorp, and instead of any pictures of the incident, the paper has a picture of an Oakland policeman petting a kitten. Not the news at all. Colbert decides to side with the paper and takes jokes from there, mentioning the police was also guilty of “Cuteality” and has a right to “disassemble the peaceful protestors into pieces”, and satirically bashing the protestors who “are wearing out their welcome nationwide”. He implores- dammit text- that the pity party ends so that Wall Street can resume their real party. By doing this, Cloberts is supporting the protestors against the criticisms of the elite-occupied media that seem to be trying to end the conflict and attempting to slightly patronize the discontents by the information they provide about the movement, such as the picture. Cloberts reminds us that what we see in the news is not always the whole truth.

Okay, cool.

Gotta go find Graham.

-Jorge Corona

Posted November 7, 2011 by Jorge Corona in Uncategorized

Tubes and Envelopes   Leave a comment

Good day, Mr. Fawkes here.

Jorge’s satirical video is one kindly suggested by Mrs. Saylor. In an episode of The Daily Show, Jon Stewart discusses the issue of Net Neutrality in light of the Net Neutrality Act that was up for congressional debate in 2006. Along with John Hodgman, the two have a swing at tackling the issue, how the Internet works, how Service Providers are trying to affect the outcome of the debate, how fair this all really is. By using a humorous presentation utilizing envelopes, Hodgman shows how information is sent on the internet. He, then, does the same thing but depicting the way that information would be “filtered” by Service Providers if they get their way. In the end, Hodgman laughs the audience to his conclusion that Net Neutrality is necessary to keep the net fair for the individual user.

The link is adjoined.

Graham Fawkes.

Posted October 17, 2011 by Jorge Corona in Uncategorized

Essay 1.1: The topic-choosing.   Leave a comment

Hello. Graham Fawkes here again in lieu of Mr. Corona.

Mr. Corona did not choose his essay; I did. It’s part of my job, actually. And something that concerns me as an Englishman in the communications industry of this country (because that’s what I say I do) is the issue of Net Neutrality. Really, this issue affects more than just your average, quasi-enslaved English typist- it affects everyone who uses the internet to communicate, which last time I checked was close to everyone. Today we live in a world where the Internet is a basic service, where an ISP has no control over what the user accesses and the price of providing the service is the same for all, along with the bandwidth speeds. So you can imagine that someone like me, so intent in the communications field, can very well be interested in leaving this market be this way: deregulated.

More on that on Mr. Corona’s paper.

All the due respect,

Graham Fawkes

Posted September 13, 2011 by Jorge Corona in Uncategorized

On Net Neutrality   Leave a comment

Not my favorite satire, to be honest, by any means, but it’s one that had to do with my research topic.

Posted September 7, 2011 by Jorge Corona in Uncategorized

Concerning Jorge Corona, to whom it may correspond.   1 comment

Hello. My name is Graham Fawkes, I am an Englishman, and I am also Mr.  Jorge Corona’s personal typist. Mr. Corona had too much to do this weekend, and did not allow me to disclose the sort of things he was involved in as a precautionary measure against rival school, soccer, aeronautic, criminal, secret, and government organizations, but I am more than happy to answer and blog on his behalf. Very well then, on we go.

Mr. Corona likes reading, or rather having my brother Frank Fawkes (freelancer) summarize for him, comic texts such as Mark Twain’s writings, Demetri Martin’s new book, properly titled “This is a Book”, and others. As for the televisual medium, Mr. Corona enjoys The Colbert Report, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, The Office, Parks and Recreation, and has recently delved into the witty waters that emanate from the show 30 Rock. Where comic movies are concerned, he’s a fan of Burn After Reading. Strangely enough he is not a big comedy buff where movies are concerned, as he prefers dramas in this particular section of the media.

Jorge’s choice to take this course had nothing to do with the material. Mr. Corona has reiterated time after time that his contempt for actually writing satire, instead of just enjoying it, is as intense as Paula Deen’s love for saturated fats seems to be. He would much rather be learning how to get through a Rhetoric of Doing Nothing class without doing anything than be here.

Sorry, I know that last bit sounds very harsh indeed, but those are Mr. Corona’s exact words and I cannot misquote him in any way- else my brother Frank Fawkes (freelancer) will be tortured once again. I do apologize. In any case, Mr. Corona has no further questions other than how to buy himself an A grade, but he says he will ask you that personally after class. He encourages you to ask him questions because, I’ve come to find, he is an egomaniac.

You’ll probably be reading from me a lot more. It’s not Mr. Corona’s nature to actually DO anything.

Much respect,
Graham Fawkes

Posted August 31, 2011 by Jorge Corona in Uncategorized