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Texas A&M Train Wreck   Leave a comment

TUSCALOOSA, AL – Late last night a devastating train derailment took place just outside of Tuscaloosa.  Many area residents awoke in a panic upon hearing the crash and ensuing explosion but calmed down once they saw the Texas A&M logo on the side of one of the train cars.

“At first when I saw the wrecked train I thought maybe it was one of those trains that comes through here with produce from Florida; or worse, livestock from the county fair last weekend.”  Said Ashley Turner, a resident who was one of the first on the scene after the crash. “Once I saw that the train was just full of athletes from Texas A&M, and that it wasn’t that big a deal, I was able to relax more.  What were they doing in the southeast anyway? They surely don’t belong here.”

The student athletes were on a trip organized by the president of the University, R. Bowen Loftin, visiting major cities in the American southeast such as Gainesville, Baton Rouge, and Tuscaloosa.  Nobody reportedly knew about this trip except for those from Texas A&M, as they kind of surprised everyone with it.

“I was shocked to see the Texas A&M train when it passed through here last week.” Said Michael Robbins, a city official in Baton Rouge, “I won’t lie, I kind of saw this train wreck coming, those Texas A&M trains aren’t meant to handle the higher quality tracks here in the southeast.  It was inevitable.”

The death toll at this time is approximately 150 student athletes, including the entire football team, with around 30 more injured.  The injured have been transported to a hospital close by in Tuscaloosa, and hope to recover soon.

Here’s what R. Bowen Loftin had to say on the matter

“It is a very sad sad thing what happened today, and I can’t help but thinking it’s all my fault.  I thought our athletes would be ok on this trip, but it turns out I was horribly mistaken.  We thought it would be fun to bring our athletes around the southeastern United States for a while because they were getting pretty bored in Texas, I just didn’t know that our train wouldn’t be strong enough to hold up in Tuscaloosa.  Now that we’ve crashed, and we may be stuck here for a while, I’m worried a train from a different school like Auburn or Florida will run us over.”

When asked to give a parting statement to the media about this disaster, Loftin only had one thing to say.

“I brought our athletes to this part of the country because I thought they would enjoy it, and it seemed like they needed a change of pace, but it turned out to just be a big train wreck and now our program is in shambles.

Anthony Rizzolo

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Posted November 28, 2011 by rizzwapow in Uncategorized

Isn’t it Ironic?   1 comment

So i kind of just skimmed over the irony article, but what i got from it is that irony is now more prevalent online than ever before.  Through mediums such as youtube or blogs, people can share stuff from tv shows like The Daily Show more easily.  Also, websites such as funnyordie.com and collegehumor.com allow even more people to be exposed to humorous iron.

When Sara first brought up irony in class and said there was a blog post i immediately knew what i wanted to post.  Even though it’s optional now, i figured i’d still share with you guys since i find it funny.  If you haven’t heard of Bo Burnham you either suck, are dead, or don’t know what youtube is.  I’ll just give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you’ve been dead for the past 4 years or so.  He’s probably my favorite comedian and he has a song about irony, soo…. here you go, enjoy

Anthony

Posted November 15, 2011 by rizzwapow in Uncategorized

Colbert Report – October 6th, 2011   Leave a comment

Hey fellow rhetoric of satire friends,

Anthony here, and i have decided (completely on my own, with absolutely no urging from Sara) to re-do my analysis of the Colbert Report that I did last night.  There’s a slight chance that it may have been lacking in the content department, along with many other departments.  So here goes my best shot at sounding intellectual in this class for the first time ever.

In this episode of The Colbert Report, he talks about a PAC and a Super PAC, both connected to each other somehow through some guy who’s head apparently looks like a ham loaf.  I can’t remember his name.  He talks about the fact that although most PAC’s have to list where they get their money from, but some certain one’s don’t have to.  Apparently this ham loaf guy was in charge of both and he was taking money from the first PAC, and giving it to the other PAC (the one where he didn’t have to disclose where the money came from) and Colbert was giving him crap for it.  Of course, he was doing this in his own little Colbert-y way where he pretended that he was making his own 2 PAC’s so he could do the same thing.  I remember at some point he talks about how Mr. Ham Loaf was essentially money laundering by doing what he was doing, but i don’t quite recall the specifics.

One thing i paid attention to in this episode that i had never noticed before was the fact that the entire set points toward Colbert.  I would have never noticed this if it weren’t for the chapter we read about Colbert.  And yes, this was one of the few readings for this class that I actually read, but that’s not important right now.  But yes, the self-hubris his character has really shines through when you notice Colbert sitting in the center of the screen with rays of color shining out from his head.  The portrait above the fireplace might also help that.

The interview portion of this episode really wasn’t all that funny.  It was a serious interview between Colbert and an officer (i think?) from the special forces (maybe?) unit of the army (possibly?).  It showed that although Colbert is obviously a comedian, he can be serious at times too, and is not always making fun of people on his show.

So uh… hopefully that was better than my first attempt at analyzing an episode of The Colbert Report.  Just remember, i did this for my own good, not because Sara told me to :p

Anthony

 

Posted October 18, 2011 by rizzwapow in Uncategorized

Colbert Report   Leave a comment

So i watched the Colbert Report from October 6th and it was about PAC’s or something like that.  It was cool to see that everything that guy said in the chapter we read for last friday was true about the show, as i had never thought about the colbert report like that before.  Overall it was a funny episode and my favorite part was when he flashed back to when he begged for apple products. Yeah

Anthony

Posted October 17, 2011 by rizzwapow in Uncategorized

I hate my life   1 comment

Hi class,

Turns out my first choice of topic didn’t have enough serious articles in existence so now I had to find a new one.  Problem is, I don’t really have a strong opinion on… anything.  Well i should rephrase, I don’t have a strong opinion on anything that has a lot of viewpoint articles all over the place.  I could just pick some political issue and have lots to choose from in terms of articles and stuff, but then i’d have to kill myself; and there’d be all sorts of paperwork to fill out, and my roommate would have to go to counseling and stuff.  It would just be a huge mess.  So i’m going to go with something that i enjoy, that also has slightly more worldly importance than ultimate frisbee; College Football.  I’m going to be covering the recent talks of conference realignment that have been taking place lately, specifically in the Big 12 -2.  I hope it works out better than my last topic so i don’t have to hate my life anymore

Rizz

here’s a link to a satirical college football blog that posted this a while ago in response to a&m being denied by the SEC the first time they tried to go

http://michiganzone.blogspot.com/2011/08/texas-does-walk-of-shame-after-getting.html

Posted September 13, 2011 by rizzwapow in Uncategorized

Ultimate Frisbee   Leave a comment

My topic is about the sport of ultimate frisbee and whether it is just a “hippie game” or if it could become an olympic sport.

I chose this as my topic because i play for the club ultimate frisbee team here at UT and the future of the sport is very important to me.

Anthony

Posted September 7, 2011 by rizzwapow in Uncategorized